Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman

I decided to turn my hand to reviewing books - alongside everything else I seem to be doing (or maybe I just want to rant about this one book, we'll see how long it lasts).


Dr Chapman had some success with the predecessor to this particular book, it was called "The Five Love Languages. How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate", it has since expanded to a few different streams including, children, teenagers, singles and a mens edition.

I fall into just one of these categories, at the moment I am single.

Chapman does a fantastic job of identifying the different kinds of single adults there are, including divorced and widowed. He also is quite convinced by the five love languages he has identified;
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Physical Touch

The book itself is written in an 'easy to read' way with stories to highlight each point he feels needs to be addressed. This is great if you are drawn in by personal stories and can cope with the same structure of chapter at least five times.

The point that this book makes time and time again is "identify your own love language and that of those around you", if "we begin to speak each others love language" life will be easier. Fantastic, if only it was that simple.

I'm not saying that he's got a bad point, but I am saying that he comes across as a bit of a know-it-all. A man who has a solution to every relational problem you will ever come across, whether its with a new spouse, a room mate, or parents you just don't get. That solution, "go away and read my book".

I know if he relayed, in detail, every conversation he had the book would be ten times longer, but we don't get a little disclaimer that says 'oh, by the way I cut some of the conversations to get to the point I am trying to make', so he comes across as a know-it-all.

He also doesn't draw many conclusions, and leaves with a set of questions and a discover your love language quiz. By the way it's not a scientific quiz at all and the questions are pretty obvious, it just helps to clarify your love language (if you didn't guess it by the fifth question!). If you can't be bothered to buy the book, google "five love languages", find the website and take the painfully obvious test.

I'm happy to buy into the love languages thing, but at the end of the day once you know a person quite well you'd speak their love language naturally. Yes it's that obvious! Good on Gary Chapman for helping us put words to the way we want to be loved.